I don’t know if it is an age thing or a time in which we live thing, or if it is just me, but love and grief mingle quite a bit these days. Sometimes I miss the days of wonder where gratitude and love would overwhelm me. Where life was so giving that I felt like I might float away on a giant cloud - grief was far away.
It’s easy during these times of longing for wonder to begin the self-sabotaging cycle of, "what I am doing wrong?” or the “not good enough” spiral. I desperately try to find a reason why these wonder and gratitude moments have gone away. I question why life cannot be smooth flow of blessings, one after another.
However, as I have sat with those that suffer, I can’t help but see they are doing everything in their power to do their best. As the tears flow for things changed or lost, I cannot imagine telling them they should have done differently or their efforts were not enough. Their loss is clearly great. Their sacrifice is clearly enough. As I partake of their grief, love rides alongside. Love grows. My heart swells with love in unspeakable ways. I call it, holding space for another person's pain. It has been some of the most beautiful scenes in my experience.
It is in these sacred moments of sorrow where my love mingled with grief grows greater, I know that I wouldn’t want to trade these sacred moments for anything. These moments are not smooth and they are not full of blessings, yet they are so blessed.
J.R.R. Tolkien wrote, “The world is indeed full of peril, and in it, there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.” So, grief is welcome. Love is allowed. I witness they are enough so maybe I am enough and I know YOU are enough. All is well.