Updated: Jul 6
Losing our loved ones is an inevitable part of life, but nothing quite prepares you for the emotional roller-coaster that follows. Recently, I found myself, along with my siblings, faced with the daunting task of cleaning out my childhood home now that they have both passed away. As I walked through the familiar hallways and entered rooms filled with memories, I couldn't help but be transported back in time. It has been a bittersweet journey of sorting through a lifetime of memories. Things as simple as a pair of tongs or a clock radio look so strange even though they have been around longer than I have.
One of the things that struck me was the wallpaper that used to adorn the walls and still hides in a linen closet. The jungle pattern that was once so scary and then had become so familiar over the years now triggered a flood of memories. Running my fingers over the textured pattern, I couldn't help but smile at the moments shared within the walls of this home.
Another striking image was a bedroom carpet, once funky, had endured the wear and tear of time. The faded spots and worn-out style told stories of gathering around a record player and laughter echoing as I sang into a hairbrush for my sibling and their amused friends.
Each room had its own unique tale to tell. The kitchen, where delicious aromas would linger, brought back memories of shared meals and secret family recipes which were no recipe at all. My mother was "inventive", although it seemed to always taste good to me. The living room, where we gathered for heart-to-heart conversations and at times head-to-head ones, echoed with an array of complex memories. The Main bedroom, where I sought refuge too many nights for my parents' comfort and realizing they never made me feel bad about it.
Cleaning out my parents' home was more than just sorting through belongings; it was a journey of self-reflection and some healing. It forced me to confront the reality of their absence and the weight of responsibility that comes with letting go and also taking on the oldest generation roll. With each item we packed, donated, or cherished, I found some closure and the strength to carry their memories forward - both the good and the not so good.
As I bid farewell to my parents' home, I realize that it was never about the physical structure or its contents. It was about the love, the laughter, the shared experiences, the lessons, the ups, and the downs that made it a gift in my life. Walking away with a bittersweet mix of sadness and gratitude, I carry memories in my heart, knowing that within me my mom and dad's spirit live on and my childhood comes to yet another end.