The other morning as I was spending my time listening, I asked to learn something new.
What I imagined or saw was a beautiful piece of fruit that was cut open and inside was a large pit or seed. The picture seemed to be putting on a little play for me because the fruit and the seed were changing places and the idea that came to my head was that the fruit was the seed and the seed was the fruit. You cannot have one without the other.
There's a popular Chinese proverb that says:
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
We find ourselves in a most unusual time in human history. We have planted many seeds years ago that are bringing forth their fruit and now is the time to decide if that fruit is what we thought it could or would be. We are being given the opportunity to stop eating the metaphoric fruit, go inside and plant that seed in a new way. But, even though the fruits may not have been what we wanted or what is working, we have would have no seed without it. Therefore we bless the fruit, we are grateful for the fruit. But we now hold the seed. We now have the power to plant something different for the future.
“To see things in the seed, that is genius.” — Lao Tzu
Let's take a moment and be a genius by asking ourselves. How are the things I am doing now going to fruit in the future? And actually, below what am I doing… What are my true intentions? What is influencing those intentions? If I had to diagram myself, in my own life, am I the main character, or have I turned that over to someone or something else? Am I harvesting from my own garden or from another’s?
It’s never too late to look at the fruit of your life and decide to plant again. Most oak trees don't grow acorns until they are at least 50 years old. So, if we as a society which is really we as individuals need to start again, what does that look like? How do we do it?
I found a wikiHow that had some simple but powerful insights.
1. Accept the past.
We are meant to be whole - missing nothing. All parts of your experience have led you here. Remember that pain and suffering aren't the same things. If the past causes suffering, there is help for that. Pain is a teacher.
2. Remember that things happen for a reason.
This is not to say that you are powerless and that things are just "fated" to be a certain way. Rather, nothing has meaning besides the meaning you assign to it. It's up to you to make every event, incident, and moment in your life empowering or disempowering.
3. Take stock of your failures and successes.
Write them down. Sometimes, up in our head, the failures seem to outweigh the successes but sometimes the successes are big. Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb but I would call his contribution a success.
4. Don't announce that you are starting over. Just do it.
It is so easy to want validation or permission to replant your seed. But those are the fruits we have created as a society that need to go away. We came here as agents of our own lives and no one else's. Our choices can affect others but we cannot make their choices nor them ours.
5. Discover your purpose.
Think about the meaning of your life. You are here for a reason.
What are your unique gifts and how can you expand them.
Here is an amazing video to help you learn more about your gifts. YOU HAVE THEM!
6. Live in the moment
Know that the only moment that really matters is now. Give it your full attention. It's your reality. And when that moment is over, move to the next moment. Are you still breathing? Yes. Then, consider that moment handled successfully!
7. Rely on others and ask for help
Asking for help is the "new charity". We have charity down in a lot of ways. We are great at desiring to help others but in order for judgment to be hybridized out of our fruit we need to create a more equal playing field. We all need help. We are all vulnerable in different areas and once we allow that vulnerability of ourselves and others, our fruit is gonna taste like candy.
8. Prepare for moments of weakness
When we move from just eating fruit to planting a new crop, we are cultivating hard work and patience. Seeds need to be fully disassembled to bring forth fruit. That can feel wrong compared to what we are used to but it is all necessary and part of the plan.
When the frontiersman was setting up a new garden it was useful to know the landscape. I want to help you understand you a little better. A while back I was devouring anything about the Enneagram that I could. I love the information I have learned about the enneagram.
The name Enneagram comes from the Greek: Ennea is the Greek word for nine and Gramma means something that’s drawn or written. It actually refers to the symbol but there is a personality construct that uses this symbol. It
has been really useful in understanding myself and others.
We are each born with certain personalities that stem from our wounds, our family of origin, and our community. The enneagram insists there are nine ways we interact in the world and three ways we experience information. Some of us are very physically connected to things and people, others are very connected emotionally, and others connect mentally. We also have a core emotion that haunts us and we need to overcome.
When we are in stress we take on another's qualities that are great for that type but are not authentic to us. We can also look to another who has strengths to guide us back to wellbeing.
I have a free gift to get you started. Go to Mechellewingle.com and click on the enneagram tab. I have a link to take the test and then if you send me an email, I will send you a customized packet to get you started.