Spiritual can be a triggering word for some as a result of us putting mental and physical parameters around something that is eternal and expansive. I heard Caroline Myss say, "our spirit is the part of us that is drawn towards hope". Is pain spiritual?
For the last couple of weeks, my family has been moving and settling into our new home. Toward the end of 2019, we were doing the usual fall cleaning in our yard and I had the impression (something that felt expansive and wordless) that I wouldn’t be doing this again at this home. Maybe I was hoping it was true because my time and energy have moved toward The Wholeness Network and trying to share my message in the way I have been asked to. The house was becoming a hindrance where it once was my pride and joy. I loved homemaking. Not that it is over for me but my identity with it has certainly changed.
I thought we would move across town, downsize, and be done but once my ego was knocked around enough I understood (not in a logical way) a need to move to a new location. This leap into the unknown has brought all sorts of complex emotions along with it. It is so complex I can’t even begin to explain it.
Although I thought this decision out, although I got curious about the emotions I had toward this decision, and although the physical details of what we needed were clear, there was so much more to this move than those things. And, this doesn’t mean that this move has to change the course of my life - it might, but it might not. There will be difficulties here as with anywhere else.
Many times we make spiritual things big and grand, magnificent and great, but if we really are spiritual beings having a human experience then the spiritual IS the everyday simple real things. The illness is spiritual. The job loss is spiritual. The heartache is spiritual. These things are made less painful through connection. Connection is the spiritual body’s purpose and role.
There are a few things with this move that have really impacted the way I see social justice issues and I hope I can explain them in a way that you might feel an impact as well. There are those suffering and if we connect instead of turn away that suffering may end. The end of their suffering strengthens us too because we ARE connected.
We bought a home owned by a builder and they wanted to sell the home but lease it back for a few months. This worked out for us since our son was finishing up his senior year and travel time would be an issue especially during the winter. This meant that we needed to find a temporary home for a few months since our house had sold.
It had been a couple of decades since we rented an apartment or home and a lot has changed. Because housing is in such demand we had to pay money just to apply to rent. We were turned down more than once. If our credit report or background checks on us or our children had any red flags I don’t know what we would have done. It seems like a real possibility that we would not have been able to find a place to live. Now, I understand that choices have consequences but when the consequences perpetuate again and again I cannot imagine how or where mercy ever gets any ground over justice.
Not only did we have to have money for applications and deposits and such, but we also had to turn over all sorts of documentation that was handled in very insecure ways. We were at the mercy of others. It felt very desperate.
When I think about how many of us are having to find ways to make rent every month I cannot imagine the stress this must create. And, what might be labeled a consequence of their choices still affects all of us as the stress may come out sideways. We are ALL affected when people are suffering. When things are stressful, we are not our best selves and we should not expect others to be their best either - especially when that stress is profound day after day.
We all have stress and pain in our lives. Believe me, moving was physically painful. I have taken my fair share of pain relievers over the last couple of weeks. My joints are still stiff and sore.
It is important to get clear on what our pain is, but it is also important to understand what our pain relievers are. Pain relievers are meant to disconnect us from our pain, from our thoughts, from our emotions. Disconnection temporarily feels better but it cuts us off from the spiritual part of us that IS connection. We are not whole as a result and every part of us subconsciously knows when we are not whole.
We are quick to address our physical pain. When we get a cut or a burn we work to stop that pain. We might have frustration at the object that caused the pain - the knife or the hot stove - but we don’t linger on the object in order to stop the pain. We access tools for that - a band-aid, some burn cream, etc.
When it comes to emotional pain, mental pain, or spiritual pain we tend to focus on the source of that pain. I think it is important to correctly understand where the pain is coming from. Mental, emotional, and spiritual pain might not have a source we can easily define, and doing that work is really important. However, more often than not we use pain relievers to mask the pain instead of using available tools to heal the pain.
Distraction is a huge pain reliever we often use to stop the pain. We may distract ourselves with positive things making us feel like the distraction is good. Watch out for phrases like, “I just need to”. These words are a good signal that distraction is about to happen.
We may perfect other parts of our lives as another way of distracting us away from pain.
We may be critical or gossip as a pain reliever. And, of course, we may use substances as a pain reliever. Food is one of the most common. If this resonates with you, please take my free class Eight Week Weight Release at mechellewingle.com/classes. This class is geared toward the idea of seeing and healing the pain behind the weight. It is not your normal weight loss class.
As we heal our pain we also heal the world. We are connected. Instead of pain coming out sideways, we are able to allow love to first come in, and then love begins to exude out from every part of us and we become a living and breathing wholistic pain reliever. I’m asking you to be that for yourself and others.