Updated: Jan 3, 2021
One of the basic questions I get asked goes along the lines of “how do I let go of my fear” “how do I remove my blocks” How do I get rid of my negative thoughts” even “how do I lose the weight for good”
To answer these questions I need to take some time for a little background. We have a mental body - the part of us that thinks, equates, relates, creates. We have an emotional body that feels, relates, and creates. And, we have a spiritual body that connects, relates, and creates. All of these bodies talk to you through the sensations of the physical body. All of these bodies and systems working together make up your minute by minute experience.
But, because of the traumas we experience, we separate from our physical sensations.
There are big T traumas which we all understand and are aware of and there are little t traumas that are different. Little t traumas are hidden to most people but ourselves. These traumas may be insignificant to others but they are big hurts or wounds to you.
Both big T and little t traumas impact AND CHANGE the body, the mind, the emotions, and the spirit of a person.
A little t trauma may look like this:
A child in elementary school has to get up in front of the class for a project. They say or do something and everyone laughs. This child might love the laughter. It hits them in their body as an exciting sensation and their mind says, “I want more of that”. They are filled with positive emotions, and they connect to the class. They might even go on to become a comedian.
Another child in the same situation might feel a twinge in their body ( maybe even the same sensation) but their mind races with thoughts of humiliation. They might feel emotions of shame or embarrassment. They begin to disconnect from the class and their own body because the sensations are so painful.
If the second child does not have a safe person to go to and find a way back to connection, that moment will continue to affect future thoughts and emotional responses - changing who this child is. That is a little t trauma. There isn’t a return to connection. Experiences need a beginning, a middle, and an end to settle correctly in the body. Trauma doesn't get that clear ending.
Brene Brown says, “we are wired for connection”. Connection is everything. Connection to ourselves IS HOW we connect to others. Connection is spiritual – you can never really describe it in words.
If both of those children in my example were familiar with the sensations in their bodies it could look like this:
The one with the positive thoughts, feelings, and connection can really use this moment to expand from. They would know more concretely about what is happening. The other child might actually feel the twinge on a conscious level. Then, they can get curious about what that sensation is. They can Notice the thoughts that arise and question the truth of those thoughts and then choose an outcome that keeps connections intact.
Another reason we might disconnect from our bodies because we think our body is bad. My mom used to say to me “the devil didn’t create any part of your body”. She was exceptional at keeping shame at bay.
Or, we might separate because we think our body is ugly or inferior. Too often, we spend more time looking at other’s bodies instead of going within our own.
Either way, we are disconnecting. We are losing touch with ourselves and excluding ourselves from vital information that could help us make decisions, expand our learning, and simply move forward in life. I believe these scenarios of disconnection happen all the time and that is why we are so prone to ask, “how do I get rid of?” or “How do I lose?” how do I let go of?”.
How do I disconnect?
The answer: is to not lose, or let go of, or get rid of anything. The answer is to add, expand, and grow. Connect!
When you connect things you do get bigger and expand there is not subtracting when you connect things. I believe the universal answer to all of these things is to understand and allow the greatness of who you are and just BE. I call it your divinity.
You are a divine BEing.
There is a lot of interest in knowing our ancestry - who and where we came from. We get excited when we can go back generations on a pedigree chart but our spiritual pedigree is short. We can only go back one generation on our spiritual pedigree chart and that should add a lot of weight to the way we feel about ourselves. Then we can see how losing, or getting rid of, or removing are not connecting words or actions. That is the mistake we make in our thinking.
As we build that muscle of connecting and living with the truth of who we are as divine beings, our choices and desires change. We do let go or lose only because we have something better already in hand.
Watch this amazing video with the intention to receive. Imagine your Heavenly Parents speaking these words to you.